For students: 1) Be brave. 2) Take charge. 3) Believe in yourself. 4) "I don't know" is powerful. (Don't nod and say "I get it"- if you don't.) Ask questions! 5) Work hard- you have a job to do. 6) Be kind (it makes someone else feel good and you feel good too.) Be polite too!
For parents/guardians: 1) We are on the same team. We have a common purpose. I am on your side.
2) Communication- let me know about the small problems or concerns. Small concerns can add up to big concerns. If we communicate early and often we can avoid big concerns. (I am on your side!)
3) You don't need to be a 5th grade teacher (you are probably busy enough as it is.) Your child should LEARN at school and PRACTICE at home. If your child is coming home and asking you to teach them, then the system is broken and needs immediate fixing. Don't be your child's crutch. Don't do my job for me. Contact me immediately if this becomes a habit- we are trying to build good habits, not bad habits.
4) I admit I have come to this one because I am a parent and I am tired when I get home from work. If your child goes to work each day (and actually works) they shouldn't have to go home and do more work. Evenings are a time to rejuvenate and take a break so that you are ready for work the next day. Evenings should not be a "sufferfest" of more homework, crying, and/or complaining. NO MATH CONCEPT IS WORTH TEARS. Tomorrow is a new day. We can work through it. Remind your child to ask questions during the school day, before school, or after school. There are two caveats here: 1- if your child doesn't work during the day, then they will need to take it home and do it there. The work has to get done, I would just prefer they do it at school. 2- reading fluency and math fact fluency require practice (similar to any sport or endeavor). 30 minutes of reading out loud and practicing a few math facts each school night should be considered an investment- and not work per se. The reading should be a book of choice (for pleasure), and the math facts- well, once they learn them they don't ever have to learn them again. I would add keyboarding to this list. It is a pain to learn, but it is a life long skill that is also an investment. Time spent memorizing keyboarding now is time saved the rest of their lives. *If your child does need to do homework because they didn't get done during the school day, I request that they don't do more than 60 minutes a night- which includes their reading.
5) We are trying to teach your child good habits that will sustain them in the coming years. We should celebrate challenges and perseverance.
6) I saved this for last in case many of you have stopped reading. It is heavy on deep thoughts in education. Feel free to stop reading now. It is one of my big pushes for your children (and my own children.) The topic: the power of saying "I don't know" and "I don't understand."
Society has trained most of us to try and just get a long and fit in. As a general rule, we don't like to stick out and be different. We also don't like to admit to anyone that we don't know something. Many of us lie a lot in these circumstances- pretending we understand something when we don't. We don't want to look stupid, ignorant, or ill informed. We view not knowing as a weakness, and something to be hidden. We are embarrassed.
Well, the process of admitting to someone that you don't know, or don't understand is incredibly empowering. Try it a few times. The first refreshing thing that you will feel is the freedom of being honest. When we lie about little things like our knowledge, we then carry around the worry that we will be caught in our lie (which is even more horrifying.) When you say, "I don't know" it frees you from lying.
Secondly, admitting you don't understand takes the pressure off of you and puts it onto the person who may contain the information. They have the option of sharing/explaining/teaching the information or not. We are all a product of our experience. Our circumstances and experiences provided us with all of the knowledge we carry. It isn't our fault if we are ignorant of something that we never learned. If we don't speak another language or play an instrument it doesn't make us stupid. We just never learned the information or the skill. Why should kids know how to do things if they have never been exposed to or practiced them? I say this even more strongly when I think about math and your kids. Every day they come to class and learn a new concept. Why would they think they should be perfect at something that they are only learning for the first time? The normative situation is that they won't understand. They will make mistakes. Mistakes are normal. Everything we learn takes practice. Practicing implies that we are going to make mistakes.
Third, when a student says to me "I get it" when they don't actually understand- think of what that does to the learning process. The premise of my continued teaching is based on the belief that they understand. Everything moving forward is built on a poor foundation that will most likely collapse. Further, it is a waste of time for me and the kids. I don't want to waste their time. I don't care or feel bad if they don't understand- I love knowing. Then I am able to focus in on the area in which they are lost and actually TEACH them!
I write this because these traits of not wanting to ask questions and of being embarrassed when we don't know something weaken us. Your children's psyches are affected. Issues of stress, perfectionism, and 'giving up' easily can show. I want to celebrate what I call the engineering mindset. Hard work and many attempts are normal. I would encourage you not to celebrate the world's best because they are the best. I would encourage you to celebrate the world's best because of all of the hard work and grit that went into allowing them to become the world's best. People aren't born the best, they stumble, fall, and get back up again over and over. They learn and practice harder than most people in their field. This is the mindset that I will be engaging in this school year. And in my humble opinion, it starts with a simple statement, "I don't know."